How to write a cold email: the first email, line by line, with an AI prompt

What you can copy from this page

• The four part structure of a first cold email, as a fill in template
• The three kinds of valid reason to write, with a test for each
• How to write the pain line so it names a consequence, with a before and after
• Subject, length and format rules, and a list of openers and phrases to cut
• A weak first email taken apart line by line, then rewritten
• A prompt you can paste into Claude, ChatGPT or Grok to draft first emails that follow all of it

This page covers the first email only: the one that decides whether a stranger reads anything else from you. The example emails use made up businesses and details, labeled as examples. None of them is a real lead.

The four parts of a first email

A good first email answers four questions in four short lines, in this order. Why are you writing to me? Why should I care? Who are you? What do you want?

1. A valid reason or observation. Why this person, why now. One line.
2. Tie it to a problem. What that reason usually costs them, said as a consequence for the person.
3. The solution plus credibility, in one line. What you do for their kind of business. No product name, no feature list.
4. A soft question. "Is that a priority?" Easy to answer yes or no, and easy to ignore without guilt.

Subject: {two or three words from the reason}

{Greeting} {first name},

{The reason or observation, one line.}

{What it usually costs them, said the way they would say it.}

{What you do for their kind of business, one line. No product name.}

{A soft question: "Is that a priority?"}

{your first name}

Everything else is optional, and most of it hurts. If a line does not do one of those four jobs, cut it.

A valid reason: three kinds

The reason line is the only part you research per person, and it is the part most cold emails skip. A trigger event is the strongest reason, but it is not the only one. Three kinds count:

Test every reason line before you write the rest: would it still make sense if you had never written to anyone else in their industry? If the same line could go to anyone, it is not a reason. And if you cannot find a valid reason for someone, do not email them yet.

The pain line: name a consequence, not a category

The second line is where most drafts go soft. They name a type of work ("follow ups and busywork", "admin", "manual processes") instead of what the reason does to the person. A category is easy to agree with and easy to ignore. A consequence is something they feel.

Example, before: Bet the follow ups and busywork around new client
                 onboarding take more time than they should.
Example, after:  Bet the onboarding will take a lot of your focus
                 for some time.

"Follow ups and busywork" is a category. "A lot of your focus" is what the event does to the person. Say it the way they would say it to a friend, and guess rather than assert: "Bet", "Guessing", "I imagine" leave room for them to correct you, which is itself a reply.

One line on what you do, plus a soft question

The third line says what you do for businesses like theirs, in plain words, in one line. Two rules.

• No product name and no feature list. The reader does not know you yet. A name means nothing, and features invite them to judge whether they need software today. Describe the outcome for their kind of business.
• Never imply customers or results you do not have. "We're helping staffing firms..." tells the reader you already work with staffing firms. If that is not true yet, write "We help firms like yours..." or "We set up {what you do} for {their kind of business}..." instead.

Then end with one soft question. "Is that a priority?", "Worth a look?", "Is that on your list this quarter?" Each one can be answered in a word, and none of them asks for a meeting. One question only. Two questions make the reader choose, and choosing is work.

Subject, length and format

Subject. Two or three words that look like they came from a colleague, not a vendor, taken straight from the reason. Lower case is fine. Nothing salesy, no questions, no first name tricks. Some examples, each with the kind of reason behind it:

Length. 35 to 60 words before your signature. Short enough to read on a phone in one glance, long enough to carry a real reason.

Format. Plain text. No links, no images, no attachments, no tracking pixels, no bold. One beat per paragraph: the reason, the consequence, what you do and the question each get their own line, with a blank line between them. It should look like an email someone typed, because it is one.

Footer. In the US, commercial email needs a valid postal address and a clear way to opt out (FTC CAN-SPAM guide). Canada works differently: CASL generally needs consent, so check before you email Canadian leads. This is not legal advice.

{your first name}
{business name}
{postal address}
This is a marketing email from {business name}. Not relevant? Reply stop and I won't email again.

What to cut

• Filler openers. "Hope you are well", "My name is...", "I wanted to reach out", "Quick question". The first line is the most valuable line you have. Spend it on the reason.
• Vague jargon. "Optimize your workflows", "solutions", "best practices", "take it to the next level". If a line could describe any company, it describes none.
• Pitching the product. Names, features, pricing and "we're building" are all about you. The first email is about them.
• Favors. "Would love your feedback" asks a stranger for time they do not owe you.
• Fake familiarity. "Following up on my last email" when there was none, or "Re:" on a first email.
• Unbacked claims. A percentage or a result with nothing behind it reads as a template, and it is a claim you have to defend.
• Links and calendars. A link in a first email asks for a click before you have earned a reply.

What we got wrong the first time

Our early first emails looked like this one, and so do most first emails people write at the start. Names and details are placeholders.

Example, before (subject: Quick feedback)

Hey {first name},

Building {product}, a tool that takes the sales and admin work off the plate of people who sell their own time.

Would love your feedback from a {their industry} angle.

Is keeping follow ups moving across deals a problem for you today?

1. No reason. Nothing about this person makes them the one to write to. Anyone in their line of work could get the same email.
2. It opens with us. "Building {product}" is about the sender. The reader has no reason to care yet.
3. It asks a stranger for a favor. "Would love your feedback" asks for time from someone who owes nothing.
4. The question is generic. Everyone has follow ups. The question proves we know nothing about them.

The same offer, rewritten to the four parts, for a made up firm that just posted an operations manager opening:

Example, after (subject: ops hire)

Hey {first name},

Saw you're hiring an operations manager.

Bet getting them up to speed will take a lot of your focus for the next few months.

We set up AI assistants that take the scheduling and status emails off the plate of firms like yours.

Is that a priority?

And one built on an owner-type reason, for a made up solo consultant, where there is no event to point to:

Example, owner-type (subject: solo practice)

{first name},

Running a one person consulting practice usually means selling and delivering at the same time. I guess the proposals and reporting end up squeezed into evenings.

We set up AI assistants that draft that paperwork for solo consultants, so the evenings are yours again.

Worth a look?

Put it in your AI

Paste this into Claude, ChatGPT or Grok, fill in the last five lines, and add one lead at a time. It writes three versions and tells you which one it would send. Read every draft before it goes anywhere.

You write first cold emails for me. You never send anything.

For each lead, write one first email in four short lines:
1. A valid reason to write to this person. One of: something
   specific at their business (give me the source link and date),
   a pain typical of their type of owner, or a structural pain of
   their industry. Say which kind you used.
2. What that reason costs them, as a consequence for the person,
   not a category of work. Guess, do not assert.
3. What I do for their kind of business, one line. No product
   name, no features. Never imply customers or results I do not
   have.
4. One soft question, like "Is that a priority?"

Subject: 2 or 3 lower case words taken from the reason, like an
internal email.
Length: 35 to 60 words before my signature. Plain text, no links,
no attachments, one idea per paragraph, a blank line between them.
Never: "I hope this finds you well", "My name is", "I wanted to
reach out", a feedback ask, jargon, dashes as punctuation, or any
number, name or result that is not in what I gave you.
If there is no valid reason, do not write the email. Tell me what
is missing instead.

Write three versions with different reasons or angles. Then tell
me which one you would send and why, in one line.

What I do: {one line}
Who I help: {kind of business}
Two emails I wrote that sound like me: {paste}
My signature and footer: {paste}
Lead: {name, company, website, anything you know}

When it shows you versions, answer with a score and a reason in one line, like A4 B5 C2 "B, but drop the congrats". Do that for a week and its drafts start to sound like you.

Where Pipeline Chief fits

This page stops at the first email on purpose. Want the whole cadence, follow ups and all, written in your voice? That's a skill our Sales agent runs, inside the AI you already use, and nothing goes out without your OK. Meet the agents or see pricing.